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ALIYAH COMMITTEE
AMTON Newsletter
December 2001

NEW REALITIES
By Debbie Perla

Since September 11, I have sensed a change in attitude from people in the United States. Almost everyone points out that now they have some inkling of the tension and fear we feel every day here in Israel. I don’t think they do understand. I say this not because I think there is nothing to fear in the United States (there probably is) or because people there really do not know fear (I am sure they do).

Undoubtedly, people in the United States will now have to adjust to a new reality that we in Israel have been living with since before the state was established. The truth is, that mostly, I don’t think about the dangers around me. In order to survive here on a daily basis and not go insane with fear and worry, most of us simply go about each day, working, playing, taking the children to school and activities, and we push the bigger issues of bombs, shootings and war into the subconscious.

So how do we protect ourselves? Primarily by rationalizing. We somehow convince ourselves that there are “safe” places and “unsafe” places. We, like many of our friends, have set limits for ourselves in terms of the physical spaces we will and will not enter. We have decided, arbitrarily, which places are safe and which are not. We then try to live by these rules, with the belief that in this way we will be protected. The truth is, though, that everywhere in Israel is fair game to the terrorist. I remember when the Sbarro restaurant downtown was blown up, I asked how people could be so foolish as to go into such a crowded, public place. Didn’t they know there was potential danger everywhere downtown? I, however, heard the news while at the local swimming pool with my children, which was packed with some 100-150 people and no guard at the door. Some of my friends think I’m wrong to go there. But these are the limits my family and I have set.

My fears become conscious primarily with my family. When I leave my children in their gan (kindergarten) programs each day, I wonder how easily a terrorist could enter the building, and subsequently, their classrooms. The media has made it known here that terrorists have plotted attacks against kindergartens and schools. I think about all the horrible things that might happen when the children are on tiyul (hike) with their classes. But even these thoughts remain hidden in my brain, locked away among the many other terrifying possibilities of life in Israel. The concern is always there; the fear and panic remain dormant.

Lately, however, the fear has been awakened more and more. In October this year, there was a shooting in Talpiot, the neighborhood we live in. My then seven month old, Etai, spends four mornings a week with a babysitter, almost entirely outside, in the parks in our neighborhood. I was completely panicked and I could feel the fear building inside. I turned on the radio and heard that the shooting had taken place in the commercial district about a mile away. I realized that Etai was fine. Then I started to cry.

There is no doubt that when you deal with these issues every day, and you have the choice to return to relative safety in the United States, one has to ask, why stay? And in fact, we know people who are considering leaving for that very reason. We have South African relatives who made a trip to Australia to investigate emigrating there. Their children had been caught in a crossfire between Palestinians and the Israeli army while on a field trip. They were having regular nightmares. Another friend has her own dental practice, a beautiful home with several acres of land and a generally comfortable life. She also lives in Hadera, a city in the north of Israel that has seen more of its fair share of terrorism lately. She has already applied for a license in the United States.

So why do we stay? Because when it comes down to it, the reasons that made us want to move here in the first place continue to keep us here. I love the fact that I am in the majority and not the minority and that the holidays recognized by the state are my holidays. I love using Hebrew every day and knowing that it connects me to thousands of years of history. And with all of this, and more, I still believe that there is no better place to be a Jew and to raise Jewish children than here in Israel.

So the next day, Etai was out with his babysitter, playing in the park. I can limit the boundaries only so much. If we close ourselves in completely, we will, emotionally, suffocate. And then, our enemies will have won the battle.

Debbie Perla made aliyah from Long Island in l989. She received a law degree from Hebrew University and practices law part time. Debbie and her husband, Dr. Ezra Kopelowitz, have three children, Yaniv (5), Gabriella (4) and Etai (8 months). They live in the Talpiot neighborhood of Jerusalem, and are active members of Congregation Ma’ayanot in Talpiot.

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